The Worst Metal Albums of 2012

With the end of 2012 around the corner it's that time of year. That magical time when every site on the net, magazine, radiostation, person on facebook, etc, etc, etc posts their picks for the year. This is all pretty subjective stuff and based on tastes, but of course I intend to get my 2 cents in as well.

This year, with the new blog, I figured I'd start off with the worst albums of 2012. Basically, I thought I'd post these turds first since posting them after the best albums seems sort of anticlimactic. Hold on to your ears because here comes the biggest pieces of shit that I've listened to this year. I try to stick to reviews I'm interested in on some level, but sometimes albums like these gets reviewed because they have a lot of buzz, are from a big name, or were released by a band I like that just took a downward turn. Whatever the reason these reviews were warnings to avoid the following albums.

Without further ado here are the 5 worst metal albums I heard in 2012...

5. Blaze Bayley - The King Of Metal

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I almost hate to give Blaze a kick while he's down, but any sympathy I feel for this guy doesn't make this album less of a trainwreck. The King of Metal features a goofy title, a band of mediocre hired guns, a budget that must have been based on what change Blaze could find in his couch, and a rough songwriting session. This album just sounds plain amateur in production and songs. Blaze Bayley - The King Of Metal? Not quite. More like a footnote in metal history based on a poor choice at vocals by Iron Maiden. I've liked some of his solo stuff, but he can barely keep a band together these days and I don't see record labels knocking down his door. Things just aren't looking good for Blaze.

4. Unisonic - Unisonic

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Anything featuring Kai Hansen and Michael Kiske is going to be burdened by some expectations. Most reasonable people probably didn't expect the second coming of Keepers era Helloween, but I think most at least hoped for something that brought the two together in speedy, happy fashion again. Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. It almost seemed to be the case when the songs Unisonic and Souls Alive hit the net, but that was just good marketing. Those were the songs the fans wanted to hear (more or less), but those shiny singles were just hiding a whole lot of fluff. Basically, Unisonic was made of the kind of bland melodic rock Kiske favors these days. Not totally surprising, but those two sample tracks were a real tease. Kai Hansen's time could certainly be better spent.

3. Bloodbound - In The Name Of Metal

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The lesson of this album may be that sometimes it Is appropriate to judge a book (or CD) by it's cover. Just look at that shit and really take it in. What you see on the cover is Exactly what you get when you play the music inside. This is some of the cheesiest, most uninspired shit ever. Just the absolute dregs of power metal cliches and unlike Dream Evil, they fail to make it amusing or pull it off. Granted this band didn't always have the best lyrics, but this album just sounds like it didn't really have any ideas, but to scrape together the worst of the power metal genre's ideas.

2. Adrenaline Mob - Omerta

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I get that a musician has to pay the bills, but any blatant attempt at "selling out" isn't necessarily going to earn the favor of your fanbase. Such is the case with this Adrenaline Mob which seems more intent on breaking ear drums than thumbs. This is just such a waste of talent from it's members and it's quite frankly embarassing. Like the above Bloodbound album, this is a collection of terrible cliches. The only difference is that instead of power metal's worst this is nu-metal/radio rock's worst. That is a whole other level of suck.

1. Steve Harris - British Lion

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What's worse than selling out? Making an album this fucking awful for no god damn reason. Shit, Steve Harris didn't have to start another project to make money. He just Wanted to make this music. I hate saying bad about a metal god and there is no way this can diminish the man's legacy, but this is an atrocious album. It is unfathomable to me that Steve Harris actually wanted to work with castrato vocalist Richard Taylor to make the most boring modern rock ever. I think it's best for everyone if we just collectively pretend this never existed after the close of the year.

Blaze Bayley - The King Of Metal

Heavy Metal
Blaze Bayley Recordings

2012

1. The King Of Metal
2. Dimebag
3. The Black Country
4. The Rainbow Fades To Black
5. Fate
6. One More Step
7. Fighter
8. Judge Me
9. Difficult
10. Beginning

Well, I gotta start this one off by acknowledging the elephant in the room. The King Of Metal? Holy pretentious title batman. Who does he think he is? A member of Manowar?

Moving on... I have a weird listening relationship with Blaze Bayley. I didn't really like him in Iron Maiden nor Wolfsbane and yet I have liked his solo/Blaze albums. That being said, I also didn't think the last album was anything special. Not really sure what to make of this one going in, but considering how much I did like The Man Who Would Not Die it was at least worth a listen and a review.

I'm just going to come out and say it here. This album is a total mess. This sounds like self produced, amateur garbage from the start. The muddy sound hits you first and then the poorly matched music and vocals. Frankly, this is a train wreck and it's hard to listen to in more ways than one. I actually felt something from this album that I don't normally get from an album... Pity. Absolute pity. This is an album that actually makes me feel bad for Blaze listening to it. From the lyrics, the fact this was basically a self released album, and the parody of a title that is The King Of Metal I just feel bad for the guy. I know that Blaze Bayley lost his wife not too long ago and I wouldn't even normally mention such a thing, but I can't help but think after listening to this album that the man is just not in his right state of mind. It sounds like he's trying to fight through something with his writing and it's Rough. Listening to him yelling over the piano in raw and unstructured emotion is just painful. Fate is one of the few songs here that seems to have it all together and the best that one has to offer is a familiar sound from his past.

You ever see one of those VH1 behind the music specials where a band/member hits their low point? Well, this album is kinda like listening to one. I was actually depressed by this album. It's such a mess that I honestly just hope the guy is ok and can rebound. The King Of Metal sounds like an artist just starting off in a garage... not an established one. Not constantly changing band members could probably be a start.

Highlights: Fate

Rating - 1.0/5