The Worst Metal Albums Of 2013

It's that time again folks. 2013 is just about at an end and I've wrapped up my reviews. That means list time. Before getting into all the great albums of this waning year I've got some other albums to highlight. The cream of the crap. This is pretty much my second chance to warn people away from these disasters or just have a little fun st the expense of albums worthy of mocking. It is sort of a masochistic process as I inevitably end up listening to these trainwrecks again to write about them, but what are the holidays without some discomfort and disappointment? Let's get on with it. The following at the worst 5 albums I had the misfortune of hearing in 2013.


5. Oliva - Raise The Curtain

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What is that glare? My computer screen? Ohhh I can feel the glare of Jon Oliva fans right through my screen. Neat. Yes Oliva fans I completely loathed this album. You know that artist that you used to love back in the day and for some reason keep checking out their new stuff? That musician you used to love and for some reason have this sliver of hope they'll make something you like again? Yeah. That is Jon Oliva in a nutshell for me. I keep trying to like his new albums and end up with a musical Cleveland steamer every time. All I want is a hard hitting, raw, straight up metal album and all I get is this wacky, goofy, sometimes incredibly cheesy experimentation. It's just fucking sad. Jon Oliva's screams over aggressive heavy metal was Amazing back in the day. Now he's just farting around with anything weird he can throw into his music to make it sound as experimental as possible. No Jon Oliva... I said to make me a metal album and Hold the jazz. Just fucking shred and scream and be metal damn you. I should probably get it through my head there is not going to be another early Savatage style album, but damn it I want one and I keep listening. I'm in an abusive relationship with an obese man. Please help me.


4. Sacred Oath - Fallen

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This one is just particularly sad to write. Sacred Oath used to be sort of a point of local pride. These guys hail from my home state of Connecticut and I've always liked them.  I honestly have no idea what happened here. It's sort of puzzling. They had been on a perfectly good run of well constructed, straight ahead metal albums with good screams and riffs and then... This happened. This album just sounds purely amateur. The band doesn't even sound like they're on the same page at times. It's almost like the band suddenly and intentionally decided to make an album with the refinement of Billy Milano on meth. Sort of a St. Anger type scenario. The fact that this album comes from a singer/songwriter who owns a music studio and has many years experience in the business is just mind boggling. This is the kind of contrived raw crap that can only be made intentionally. From spoken/rap-ish vocals to the musical chaos of everyone seemingly playing a different song, this one just sounds like something a group of teenagers with a bunch of angst, but little grasp of their instruments would come up with.


3. Giant X - I

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I can't really say this one was entirely unexpected. I mean did you guys hear Rolf's other attempt at a side project Toxic Taste? That one was a glam rock train wreck that failed so hard Rolf had to pretty much reconsider and reform Running Wild. Based on that I can't say I was really expecting anything good from Giant X, but there was the hope Rolf had learned something from the experience. Well... nope. Not a thing. The more Rolf tries to branch out, the more I realize that he should probably be using the letter Rrrrr a lot as he sings about buried treasure and ships. The guy has a great flare for the epic sea tunes, but for some reason he keeps wanting to make shitty 80s arena rock. I can't say I really understand it. If this is really the sort of music Rolf would rather be making, that is kind of disappointing. I can understand his desire to do something different after singing about pirates for so many damn years, but how about a straight up metal album? Maybe something like the first couple Running Wild albums? This album just sounds dated and awful. I didn't know that X was a euphemism for a dump in Germany.


2. Geoff Tate's Queensryche - Frequency Unknown

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This is probably one of the most satisfying bad albums I've ever heard. After all Geoff Tate's pretentious douchebaggery he finally drove Queensryche to tell him to get the fuck out. Then, like the spoiled cunt he is, he ran off to make his own Queensryche album. Because obviously he should own the band name instead of... all the other band members combined. If ever it was time to put up or shut up, this was it for Tate. He had sole control and he had to prove the other members needed him more than he needed them... and he fell flat on his smug face. The real Queensryche put out a great album that got back to the progressive Metal with a vocalist who can soar like Geoff Tate was Once able to do. And what did Geoff Tate do? He put out some alt rock garbage in much the same vein as his solo stuff. Geoff made it perfectly clear hear he's not interested in metal, never really has been, and if he had his say the band would be making this shit. Geoff Tate may have had value to Queensryche in the past, but in 2013 he proved the band is much better off without him now. You've gotta love when a total shithead just gets what's coming to him.


1. Phillip H. Anselmo & The Illegals - Walk Through Exit Only

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I'm not going to beat around the bush here. This isn't even a music album. This is an album of noise. There is nothing musical about this. This is chaos and screaming and then it's over. Ever seen the part in Event Horizon where everyone is going insane in the hell dimension? Where they rip their eyes out and shit because of what they've seen? Yeah... this auditory discord is pretty much the album version of that. Total fucking chaos. Just everyone playing their own song at the same time while Phil does his best to sound tough and bad ass. You're trying too hard little Philly... too hard. It's become pretty obvious to me that most of Phil's success has come on the backs of other, more talented, musicians. Either that or he just bought into his own image (and drugs, lots of drugs) too much.

Sacred Oath - Fallen

Heavy Metal
MVD Audio

2013

1. King Of Your World
2. The Way Of All Flesh
3. Get Your Wings
4. Dream Death
5. Misery Loves Company
6. Snake Eyes
7. Lurking Fear
8. Aradia
9. Death Knell
10. Fallen

Sacred Oath have been back in existence for a few new albums at this point and have pretty well established themselves as a damn fine traditional sort of heavy metal band. After three good releases I was feeling pretty good about this one really and didn't have any reason to doubt it. Good music and cool, standout vocals from a local boy making good. It has been pretty exciting to see bands from the old Connecticut scene like Sacred Oath, Obsession, and old Fates Warning in the form of Arch/Matheos making good new music.

Well, here is where that rather flawless record out of Connecticut metal comebacks withers and dies. My initial reaction from the first track, King Of Your World, was pretty much confusion and annoyance. The quick talking, almost rap-like vocal parts are kind of like nails on a chalkboard and nothing I want to hear in any metal song, ever. They do build to a decent cleanly sung chorus, but not an imaginative one and certainly not worth suffering though the rest of the "singing" here. Next we proceed to The Way Of All Flesh which is trudging initially and kind of boring. It does pick up after a bit over 2 minutes, but it doesn't last, making for another clearly flawed track that simply isn't that interesting. After that Gets Your Wings sounds absolutely messy and chaotic. Utterly random and I was barely able to make it through the song honestly, making it the second track that has outright annoyed me out of three. Dream Death follows that with a balladish start into a chaotic mess that continues the basic trend of a mix of boredom, confusion, and annoyance. I could keep writing track by track, but honestly it just goes on like this. These songs are just poorly constructed and only memorable in the fact they sound so random.

Basically, this album lacks everything that made the first album back, Darkness Visible, their best. It doesn't have that sort of Fates Warning epic vibe, wild falsettos, and the attempts at heaviness just sound confused. I'm not sure what to make of this album, but I'm positive I never needed to hear it. I think it's time for Sacred Oath to reevaluate the direction they're heading in to put it mildly. The mighty have fallen and they made one ugly sound when they hit the ground. This is just a genuinely terrible collection of songwriting.

Highlights: No

Rating - 1.0/5

Sacred Oath - World On Fire

Heavy Metal
Angel Thorne Music

2010

1. Sweet Agony
2. Meet Your Maker
3. The King Must Die
4. Sandrider
5. Front Line
6. Face of Evil
7. Drums of War
8. Revolution
9. When the War is Over
10. On Death Row
11. World On Fire

Sacred Oath have really been becoming a personal favorite since they came back with 2007's Darkness Visible. I must admit to maybe a little local spirit/Connecticut bias, but the last two albums have been seriously great. Nice to have a local band that doesn't suck.

Upon listening to their latest effort I've gotta say that I'm satisfied in that this is a pretty solid, straight up traditional album, but maybe not quite as noteworthy as the last two. This just kinda feels like that album that is a bit familiar. None of this really blows up my skirt so to speak. Nothing on World On Fire is bad by any means, but neither does it bring much new to the table. That being said, all the riffs are pretty good and the singing is top notch. The wails of Rob Thorne over some good straight up metal continues to be pretty satisfying.

Really, if you liked the last Sacred Oath in particular than there's no reason this album shouldn't be considered worth the price of admission. A personal note would be I would enjoy if they brought back some of the fire of Darkness Visible's falsetto vocals back into the mix. I can't complain too much though as I still find their style of straight forward METAL pretty refreshing. I just think this one doesn't quite conjure up the same level of highlights as the last two.

Highlights: Meet Your Maker, The King Must Die, Sandrider

Rating - 3.5/5

Sacred Oath - Sacred Oath

Traditional/Power Metal
Angel Thorne Music

2009

1. Paradise Lost
2. Blood Storm
3. Voodoo Dolls
4. Buried Alive
5. Counting Zeros
6. Caught In The Arc
7. High And Mighty
8. Sacred Oath
9. Scourge Of Sin
10. Hunt For The Fallen Angel

Lately, it's been an increasingly great thing to be a part of the Connecticut heavy metal scene. True, a lot of tours out there tend to skip little ol Connecticut in favor of bigger markets like NYC and Boston, but man has the scene been seeing a rejuvenation around here... at least in terms of talent. With the recent rise from the ashes of both Obsession and Sacred Oath things sure have been looking better and it fills me with a sort of Connecticut pride that we're producing bands of this caliber. All we need now is a new Liege Lord or perhaps some more John Arch.

The last album, Darkness Visible, impressed me with the wailing vocals of Rob Thorne and the never ending assault of varied and interesting riffs and this one continues in much of the same mold. From powerful high end singing to more atmospheric moments this album is definitely a standout vocal performance and the riffs are inventive as hell as they don't tend to settle into a lot of repetition. Sacred Oath's self titled album represents many of the best elements of the early American power scene brought back to life. Cutting riffs and passionate deliveries are everywhere and there is not a weak track anywhere to be found. This is just a traditionally great album that seems like something of a blast from the past. You just don't hear a lot of people putting out metal like this anymore between the guitar sound/approach and the wailing falsettos of Rob Thorne. At the same time the band has a style of their own and is very recognizable keeping their brand of traditional from being just another stale rehash. The more atmospheric moments in some of these songs are a welcome variation that adds a nice dimension to the songwriting.

Sacred Oath are an older band of sorts, but without a lot of releases their songwriting well still seems quite full and their songs fresh. This is just a great slab of traditional/early power metal that I'd recommend to fans of the early american scene, early fates warning, and King Diamond-esque dark atmospheres and wails.

Highlights: Blood Storm, Paradise Lost, Counting Zeros, High And Mighty

Rating - 4.0/5

Sacred Oath - Darkness Visible

Traditional Metal
Sentinel Steel

2007

1. Words Upon the Stone
2. Battle Cry
3. Queen of the Night
4. Darkness Visible
5. Prophecy
6. Calm Before the Storm
7. Unholy Man
8. Death Is Inevitable
9. Beyond the Edge of the Flame
10. The Golden Dawn

Sacred Oath is a name with which I am familiar but I would not be surprised to hear that many are not. The band's stay in the metal scene was brief with only one album released via a small record label before they called it a day. Being that I am a resident of Connecticut myself, this CT based band is no stranger to me and I was intrigued when I heard they would be coming back to give it another go. It's always hard to know what to expect from a band after a good 20 year absence, but I was definitely curious. The parallels between this return and fellow CT band Obsession are fairly obvious.

Well here's another parallel for you... this one kills too. Sacred Oath has come back even better than before with a more polished production, more refined vocals, but still with incredible raw and dark heaviness. This is a very guitar oriented sort of album, the likes of which I seem to seldom hear out of power or traditional metal these days. Think Arch-era Fates Warning meets Mercyful Fate with a wailer of a vocalist who sometimes ascends to a more Falsetto style in the vein of King Diamond. Darkness Visible is packed with intense metal full of blistering leads and solos that show this is a band that can really play. Sacred Oath are also a band who damn sure know how to write a song and can play with soft and dark atmosphere as well which is evidenced by tracks like Prophecy and Beyond The Edge Of The Flame. A fair bit of variety graces this release and it never feels one dimensional, which is something that I really dig. The fusion of dark atmosphere and heaviness works well here and is done in a very classic sort of way.

All in all this is a very tight, well played album with songs that establish identity from track to track and for the band as a whole. I can't see fans of good old school traditional metal with a touch of evil not loving this one. I would especially recommend this release to fans of above mentioned bands like Mercyful Fate and Arch-era Fates Warning. Here's hoping this band does not just vanish after one release again because I seriously think it would be a loss to the metal world. This is a 100% successful rebirth of the band and I can see this band becoming a force to be reckoned with given a chance and some exposure.

Highlights: Queen Of The Night, Words Upon The Stone, The Golden Dawn, Beyond The Edge Of The Flame

Rating - 4.0/5